The Four Loves- Eros

The Four Loves was definitely an interesting read by C.S. Lewis. I definitely regret that I was only able to read/listen to just a small portion of this, as it answers many great questions regarding love. However, the section on Eros, which was read and in part listened to, was extremely informative and interesting. As college students, we are entering a time when many people find their life spouse, especially at a college such as Calvin. That being said, it is important to highlight several important spots from Lewis' writing. First, let us identify what is meant by Eros. Eros is considered to be human affection, where you are in love. However, this is distinct of sole sexual attraction, although it plays a small part in Eros.

The first thing that stood out to me is the fact that Eros is more than a sexual passion. Indeed, there is more to an attraction than the sole physical side. It is even suggested that you should be attracted to a personality before having a physical attraction. I would consider this a good although unrealistic way to get an attraction. Rarely, and I would even consider using the word never, is there someone so modest that they look solely at personality and other non-physical traits. The fact that attraction should be more that physical is nonetheless very important and worth noting. Let's use Hollywood as an example. Entertainers are some of the most attractive people on the face of the Earth, yet their marriages are tabloid farces, that often cause you to shake your head due to their ridiculousness. I would assume this is because the entertainers look solely at the physical. They don't realize time after time after time that there is more to a marriage than the physical. I think it would be wise to never learn any lessons ever from Hollywood loud-mouths, especially when Eros comes into consideration.

This brings up a similar passage from Lewis: the fact that no passion is self-preservative. I think that this connects well with the first ideal in that passion will not parlay itself out into a meaningful relationship. I would link passion to sort of a rash, hastily thought out emotion, and in such, an impulse that never turns out well. Oftentimes, we act before we think, we talk before we think, or other things that aren't smart. Much more often that not, these impulses do not end up well for us, and we regret what we say or do. So it is with passion in love also. Passion may start out strong, but it will eventually fizzle. Passion again is linked to a strong physical attraction, but a strong and healthy relationship is built on having an emotional connection, having similar ideas and beliefs, and then a physical connection. Passion must be subdued in order to realistically look at a relationship.

Lewis gives a good opinion, and one that is very accurate. He gives many words of wisdom that should not be discounted. We must certainly have Eros, but in the right sense, with attractions for the right reasons.